I'm a far cry from your typical bride. I say that because, until June 2010, I never gave a single thought to what kind of wedding I wanted. According to conventional wisdom, women have been dreaming about their 'big day' since they were old enough to eat wedding cake. I can honestly say that the the very last thing on my mind through girlhood and puberty was what my wedding dress would look like or how many tiers my cake would have.
Secondly, I think I probably break the average bride mould a bit in that I am planning my wedding for the second time in eight months. In June 2010, I was planning a late summer wedding to my then boyfriend of six years. In February 2011, I started planning my upcoming nuptials to my boyfriend (now finance!) of seven months.
That means that, within the span of a year, I have announced my engagement to my family twice, planned two very different celebrations, hired two sets of staff for my 'big day' and created two very different guests lists of loved ones.
The good news is, despite an extremely painful breakup with my ex, I couldn't be happier than I am right now. My fiance and I first dated when we were quite young (19 and 23 respectively) and following an eight month relationship, had an off-and-on connection that lasted until I left Toronto at 22. The pull between us was always really powerful, but we didn't have the relationship skills, diplomacy or life experiences to turn that chemistry into something exceptional. Reconnecting in our 30's has been incredible. It's all the passion of our younger years (more in fact) coupled with the added benefit of maturity and a raw appreciation for the incredible odds it took to give us a second shot. I can honestly say that I am amazed every day at how awesome our relationship has become.
That being said, the irony of going through the wedding planning process for the second time in a year is not lost on me. When I first got engaged (again) I couldn't announce it to friends or family without wondering what it might be like to have to 'untell' them. Thankfully most of that anxiety seems to be gone now, but it has been quickly replaced with the anxiety of planning a wedding from start to finish in three months!
So, here I go again folks. If you want to get inside the head of a truly neurotic bride, follow me for the honest truth about the psyche of a bride to be!
